But first, something about the internet as a whole. In my eyes (and therefore the eyes of everyone, I must assume) Everyone on the internet is:
1. American
2. In their twenties
3. Somewhat "nerdy"
4. Somewhat introverted
5. Nostalgic
6. Somewhat patronising
7. Extremely opinionated
(for some proof of this, look to twitter, tumblr, this site, this site, this site or this site)
This demographic are those who grew up with the early internet. They watched the birth of Facebook, Youtube and Twitter, the subsequent deaths of MySpace, Bebo and, um, Google+? (seriously, has it ever been alive?) Chances are you, dear reader, fall into at least three of these categories. If not what are you, demon? Leave this place, for you are not wanted here!
I fall into all, bar two. Now back to the nineties.
As someone why was only alive for half of the nineties (and who spent most of that time crying, being adorable and learning to walk, talk and read) I am a member of the "almost 90's kids". I thought for a while that I was a 90's kid, having been born in them but it seems I'm only a halfling, trueblooded 90's kids were born in the 80's and lived all the way through them. Me? I hover somewhere between the then and now:
Seriously, internet? I know nostalgia goggles cloud the judgement and all that but you can't expect me to believe that 90's kids never acted like the same little shits we know today? More advanced gadgetry do not a more spoiled brat make, you guys. Tell me you never threw a tantrum because your parents taped over your favourite film recorded straight from the tv via VCR, or complained about being bored even though your Gameboy and Nintendo 64 are sitting right there in the living room. That's right, I know 90's things.
Then today I read this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/32-extremely-upsetting-facts-about-the-class-of-2017 and it sparked this mini-rant. I think number 16 is my personal favourite in terms of blatant "everyone who is slightly younger than me is an idiot and is completely out of touch with everything that's over 13 years old"- ness. I read it like, "Um, whut?".
Internet nostalgia-ites, you realise that things going out of use does not mean they disappear entirely from public memory, right? In today's society we might have no way of playing a cassette tape but that doesn't mean we treat it like some kind of historical artifact. That's like saying that children of the 21st century will have no idea what a gramophone, a chariot or The Beatles are.
Internet, I think you may have some separation issues.You need to let go. The nineties are over, and have been for over thirteen years. I know you long for your childhood/college years, internet.You are deathly afraid of turning thirty because that's when you've to properly start acting like an adult (probably). You don't want to become your parents, or your grandparents so you cling to the things you loved as a youngling. However, your immature "I'm older than you and therefore better than you" attitude is turning you into one of those old people, yelling "In my day...!" at random kids who kick their football slightly too close to your yard. This wasn't what you wanted. You want to be forever young and in a sense you are but you are also becoming all that you hated as a child.
You are cynical (you call it realistic) but you also want to love the things you've always loved unconditionally. You have two choices: Become disillusioned with your childhood or be an unabashed hypocrite. Most people go with the latter. And there's nothing wrong with that, nostalgia goggles will do that. But seriously internet, try, all I'm asking is that you try to shut up with the patronising "only 90's kids" shit. It's, like, so 2009. I don't know why this annoys me as much as it does, maybe it's because I myself am not all that nostalgic for my childhood/early teenage years. It's probably that. Aaaaaand on that depressing note, I'm out bitchezzz.
Embrace the Madness.
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