One: I was in some deep denial for a while and then complacency in dating a boy and not having to address my suspected deviance from gender and sexuality related norms.
Two: I was of the belief that, unless you want to sleep with me, who I sleep with orwant to sleep with is none of your business.
On the first front, the relationship has since ended and I have questioned my questions and gotten my head straight, so to speak. On the second, I was wrong. That's not something you'll hear me admit to all that frequently so I'll say it again, and slower.
I. Was. Wrong.
Representation matters. It matters because we live in a world where everyone is assumed straight and cisgendered, able-bodied and clear-minded. Representation matters because you are not always going to fit that mould and when you don't, you need to know that you are not alone.
And so, I'm confessing to you now, internet, that I am bisexual.
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| I think I just found my favourite gif of all time. |
This post is about marriage equality. For those of you living in Ireland, you are probably aware that there is a referendum on marriage equality scheduled for early next year. I attended the annual (though hopefully last) March for Marriage in Dublin a couple of weeks ago, organised by LGBT Noise and pertaining speeches from some truly inspirational members of the community. I was asked to write a piece about why marriage equality matters for the blog (which you can see on the site) as a representative of BeLonG To, the LGBT youth service in Dublin . It did, however, it ended up being cut. No biggie, the other pieces are really fantastic, you should definitely give them a read.
Buuuut, I wrote a thing and I'd be denying my egotistical writer's soul in having it never see the light of day. Here is my piece on why marriage equality matters. Enjoy.
Why does marriage equality matter? My first instinct is to answer with “Well, because equality matters.” I can't personally tell you about my aspirations to marry my partner (as I haven't one) or my active participation in getting legislature passed or petitions signed, politicians lobbied or civilians swayed. I'm eighteen. Less than six months ago, I still wasn't out to myself, never mind questioning whether or not I would be able to marry whoever I want to marry at some unforeseeable point in the future. But, even then I was still in support of marriage equality. Because I support equality. Full stop.
Look at it this way. Life is not fair. I see very few means through which we can make it perfectly fair. People are always going to have different skill-sets, different influences, different morals and different opportunities. Then you've got economic background, nationality, social standing; the list is basically endless. The decks are stacked from the moment we are born and, in some ways, there's nothing we can do to change that.
But (glimmer of hope) we can change how we treat each other. You can't control being born into a working class home but you can have the opportunity for education so that you can achieve your full potential. You can't control the colour of your skin but are protected from race based violence and abuse. And you can't control who you fall in love with but you do have the right to love whoever you want, and share your life with them.
Oh wait. That last one isn't true. Yet.
What I'm trying to say is, when we play dice with the universe, we all lose in one way or another, and much more frequently than we'd like. Life sucks, it's no big secret. Can we at least agree to ease the bad as much as possible where we can? If not for ourselves, for the generations to come?
And I know some of you may be thinking “I'm straight, marriage equality doesn't apply to me so why should I care?”. Firstly, where did you think all the LGBTQ+ people came from? Straight people. You may be straight as a ruler but what's to say your son or daughter won't be a rainbow loving homo? Secondly, as a member of the majority you do have some responsibility to look out for the little guy (ie. us) by virtue of your position of privilege, otherwise you're contributing to the continued marginalisation of minorities.
“Responsibility?! I didn't sign up for that!” Welcome to the club, buddy.
“I don't want to explain gay people to my kids, they're too young to know about all that.”
Oh hi, concerned parents. I ask you this: Did you ever have to explain heterosexual couples to your kids? Sure, there may have been a tall tale about storks or cabbage patches but on the whole, you probably didn't have to do a lot of explaining. Heteronormativity permeates our culture so completely that it doesn't need explaining. It's just love. And, while the transitional stage might take a while, there's no reason that the childlike understanding of what love is can't extend to LGBT couples too. A 1950's parent might have had the same concerns surrounding explaining interracial couples to their children, but nowadays that seems ludicrous. It shouldn't require explanation, it's love.
I'll leave you with this: Yes, I'm young. I don't deny my own idealism nor my inexperience. I know little of the legalities and tribulations surrounding matrimony in this country. I don't see myself marrying anyone particularly soon. I know that love shouldn't be restricted for certain people. We've come a long way in this country in recognising this. Can't we push just a little further? This is such an attainable goal, it would bring revenue into the government and make a lot of people happy. In this day and age, happiness is important. Support equality. Support love. Support a better brighter future for Irish people.
Hopefully I won't lose any viewership for this, I'd like to think you guys are better than that.
No, there will not be pictures/videos of me making out with girls. I should be so lucky.
Embrace the Madness
