Falling off the blogosphere

Hello. This is my return to blogging. Now some of you (I have absolutely no clue why this theoretical second person plural is, considering how long it's been, I very much doubt that there is anyone left with any interest in what I put here but Ima continue like this for the purpose of I want to and it's easier. Just a sidenote) will be wondering why I have not blogged for around a year (the timescale of this has become meaningless at this point). Most of you, theoretical audience, will not and, if you are still reading, probably want this to get interesting, soon, or you will leave to go look up cat videos or fails. 

I could come up with a squillion (it's a number if I say so, I know maths) things that I was supposedly doing during this year of not blogging but before I go into that (because you know I will, oooooh yes) I will give you the straight answer. Three words, amigos: I AM LAZY (optional "as fuck" if deemed necessary, with free Monty Python, "one, two, five-" "three sir?" joke included, though technically it's inverted in this case). This year I entered the fifth level of hell (or in layman's terms, "secondary school") that is fifth year (I think it's junior year for los americanos and English people, I really don't know, I should but I don't). The work load is piled on from the second month (for the entirety of the first I convinced myself that I "couldn't" study because I hadn't "properly" started the Leaving Certificate course) and I, being me, promptly ignored it. All of it. 

"Winging it" and writing things last minute is pretty much my speciality at this point, right there next to coming up with half assed excuses and avoiding responsibility by not going for anything remotely leadership related (except when it's a team building exercise and I'm the only person with a brain). This is my life. So, while I do enjoy greatly sharing my silly and pretentiously profound opinions and thoughts on this teeny little sliver of internet, I have been busy ignoring the work I should be doing but feeling somewhat bad about it, enough that I can 't do anything else either. I has been a year of general uncreative lethargy, though towards the end of it (and therefore exams) I did get a surge of "productive procrastination" where my state of work paralysis is lifted and I can do things again... so I do all the things I want to do slightly more than work. I wrote a play. A one act play, mind you, but an entire freaking play nonetheless, in my attempts to avoid study and anything resembling actual work. It's been a decent year. Just not great for blogging.

Other reasons (aside from the creative made up ones, which I will get to) for not blogging include my perfectionism when it comes to how people see my writing (or how I perceive them seeing my writing- woah, trippy) and so whenever I had an idea for something to blog about, I would start writing it then convince myself that it's not good enough for people to use as a sample of my skills and so I would leave it. Repeat for a year. There's also the fact that I got a boyfriend this year. Now that's an interesting story. But I'm not gonna tell that now, teehee.

Sooooo, yeah. Basically, I'm lazy and I have an elevated sense of my own importance and prowess therefore I can't deal with m own sub-par writing even when it's not that bad. Now for the made up things I was doing during this year:

1. I went on a trip across the world to find my true parents, found that they are in fact evil and trying to destroy the internet, so I had to kill them. The emotional pain and yadda yadda yadda forced me into a state of year long brooding and general angstiness "you-wouldn't-understand-man" stuff so I simply couldn't blog.

2. I was kidnapped by a band of travelling monkey robots who took my brain and placed in a monkey robot body, erasing all memory of my human existence. I spent the year slowly regaining my memories through a series of glitches in the system and wild coincidences, only to finally take my bloody (or oily?) revenge on the beings who had done this to me.

3. I decided to become a koala hermit, that is live my life as a koala for a year (or as similarly to that of a koala) by sleeping for 22 hours a day and spending my waking hours climbing trees, eating eucalyptus and getting high as balls on it and having sex. Koalas are epic, do not question. They have four thumbs. FOUR! (also, Eddie Izzard voiced one in that one Disney movie no-one's heard of, "The Wild" and he was and is so incredibly awesome it is impossible not to love the vessel he used.)

4. I was working for the government on a top secret.-.vS:Ljc\silfjsd589745623477fbcmxnzbvkjdfhznv

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YOU HEARD NOTHING. MOVE ALONG.

5. I do not actually exist, I am a figment of your imagination. You must ask yourself what psychological event in your own life stopped me from apparently blogging, because only then will you know truly what it is your life means

Embrace the Madness